70 replies to this topic

[Goosenka]

Right. So I am drunk at a party. I don't really drink so it's becoming an issue. I've had only a handful of hours sleep since Thursday due to work and I have to be up again at five tomorrow for work. I was invited to a party tonight at a vegans house and having xonsumed my body weight in fuking mung bean sh*t this and tofu that I have a had a build up of wind like a mutha fcuker. Due to booze and extreme tiredness I accidentally let a ballistic missile of a fart go that cut tr atmosphere like a knife in more ways that one. It was truly horrendous. Issue is - how the hell do I come back from this? Tried apologising but everyone kinda shunned me. It was all rather bad. My wife has stopped talking to me and only one bloke laughed. In fact, he still is. I explained I was sorry but I keep laughing when I explain it. Help. It's not funny.

[robin]

thats killing me laughing nothing like a great fart at a party good man!! go do another

[jules_s]

Right.

So I am drunk at a party.

I don't really drink so it's becoming an issue. I've had only a handful of hours sleep since Thursday due to work and I have to be up again at five tomorrow for work.

I was invited to a party tonight at a vegans house and having xonsumed my body weight in fuking mung bean sh*t this and tofu that I have a had a build up of wind like a mutha fcuker. Due to booze and extreme tiredness I accidentally let a ballistic missile of a fart go that cut tr atmosphere like a knife in more ways that one. It was truly horrendous.

Issue is - how the hell do I come back from this?

Tried apologising but everyone kinda shunned me. It was all rather bad. My wife has stopped talking to me and only one bloke laughed. In fact, he still is.

I explained I was sorry but I keep laughing when I explain it.

Help. It's not funny.

Don't worry too much....whenever you do a faux pas on this site we will refer you to this thread to make you feel better

[ciderbooze]

fcuk it puke on the curtains and walk out .

[luke.]

fcuking LOL!!! Who on earth doesn't put meat out at a party. I understand they might not like meat but does that mean that everyone else has to suffer? As already said above.. Go be sick on the curtains, p*ss on the sofa whatever.. then go get a kebab!!

[Goosenka]

It's horrendous. I a well healed chap and it's horrible. I TASTED THE FART FFS!! I just told everyone to not no so boring but there was silence. Ps I'm in the loo as I have the shits. I hate it

[Goosenka]

At least my dogs here. I a actually laughed like a prick when I guffed and blamesd the dog Funny thing is the host just tutted aty comment.

[robin]

the sh*ts bad ass mofo!! crap away and dont spray the freshner so anyone going in after has to cut the smell!

[Nelly Vx]

Go and stand by the fat bird and blame her , no none will know

[robin]

its a known fact fat birds fart a lot!

[Goosenka]

Go and stand by the fat bird and blame her , no none will know

There's not a fat fcuker here!!!!

Spray paint the dalton and leave

Can't wait to walk down stairs. Might just brew another and follow through at dessert

fcuk em

[luke.]

Why have i got visions of Goose pebbledashing the shitter and blaming it on the dog While a load of posh stuck up veggies hang heads in shame haha

Edited by luke., 19 May 2012 - 10:30 PM.

[robin]

have fun blowing your ring peice off! top man made me laught a lot

[Nelly Vx]

You fcuker !!! Nearly pissed myself !!! , just go log off on the desert table and tell them all it's angel delight

[JohnTurbo]

Vegan?!...god...pretty sure thats illegal here in Lancashire. Surely you are there by accident? Thow a handful of birdfeed on the floor and make good your escape!

[ciderbooze]

Men need meat whatever you choose to do is justified . Remember they are in the wrong here. I stand by my puke down the curtains but if you want to soften the impact a little do it behind the curtains . You will know its there but they will not not find it untill you are tucked up in bed with a smile on your face .

[Goosenka]

fcuking toilet catastrophe. Scratchy arse wool paper. I've been up here for twenty mins and ahit myself stupid. Like a flock of swallows. I hate it Gotta go down stairs now. My wife text me from down stairs with one word ' please leave'

[robin]

My wife text me from down stairs with one word please leave thats two words you dopey! walk down stairs and say i wouldnt go up there for the rest of the night "you have been told"

[Hark]

Superb.

[Goosenka]

I told u I'm pissed. One word, two word blah I'm going to leave I think. Lucky I only live two hundred yards from their house. I have to be up in five hours for work. Toilet looked like a bad nappy.! I just knoenim gonna speak Swahili to the great white telephone