One Liners :lol:
Started by
Nelly Vx
, Oct 09 2012 10:02 PM
696 replies to this topic
#1
Nelly Vx
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- 5,928 posts
3/3 Of a Queen
- Gender:Male
- Location:north wales
Posted 09 October 2012 - 10:02 PM
Hey have you ever been picked up by the Fuzz ?
No .......... Been swung round by the tits a few times
#2
MrSimba
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- 5,197 posts
Scary Internerd
- Gender:Male
- Location:UK
Posted 09 October 2012 - 10:29 PM
"If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong..."
Edited by MrSimba, 09 October 2012 - 10:37 PM.
#3
Nelly Vx
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- 5,928 posts
3/3 Of a Queen
- Gender:Male
- Location:north wales
Posted 09 October 2012 - 10:30 PM
What's brown and sticky ....... A stick
#4
G-Bob
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- 8,256 posts
Embarrassing VX's in an MX5
- Gender:Male
- Location:West Lothian
- Interests:Silver VX Bashing!
Posted 09 October 2012 - 10:38 PM
"What did one trappist monk say to the other?"
#5
JimmyJamJerusalem
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- 10,382 posts
So annoying I got my own room.
- Gender:Male
- Location:South Wales, God's country!
- Interests:Music, Cars, Beer, Boxing.
Posted 09 October 2012 - 11:20 PM
"If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong..."
Oooh nice!!
#6
westie
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- 588 posts
Super Duper Member
- Gender:Male
- Location:Bournemouth
- Interests:Spending money on the car, Winding up the wife, Pickled onion monster munch, Terraforming.
Posted 10 October 2012 - 07:23 AM
Have you ever shoed a horse? No, but i once told a donkey to fcuk off !
Edited by westie, 10 October 2012 - 07:25 AM.
#7
Goosenka
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- 12,716 posts
Jeep Driving jolly nice chap
- Gender:Male
- Location:Anywhere near water
- Interests:Fried breakfasts, coffee and dogs
Posted 10 October 2012 - 07:48 AM
I met my wife in Australia.
I said, what the bloody hell are you doing here?
Taxi for one please......
#8
Harry Hornet
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- 4,973 posts
Scary Internerd
- Gender:Not Telling
- Location:x
Posted 10 October 2012 - 08:52 AM
Knock knock
Who's there?
The interupting sheep
The interup.....................baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
#9
ghand
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- 9,215 posts
Drunken lampposts only
- Gender:Male
- Location:St helens merseyside
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Interests:Whisky.Keeping reptiles.Cars.
The odd bike ride, fell walk and weights
Oh and more whisky
Posted 10 October 2012 - 02:24 PM
I asked a scotsman did he have spots when he was young.
He replied achh neeeee
#10
Goosenka
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- 12,716 posts
Jeep Driving jolly nice chap
- Gender:Male
- Location:Anywhere near water
- Interests:Fried breakfasts, coffee and dogs
Posted 10 October 2012 - 02:29 PM
Getting my mother-in-law to accept a free foreign holiday was easy. The hard part was convincing her Dignitas was Swiss for spa.
#11
Goosenka
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- 12,716 posts
Jeep Driving jolly nice chap
- Gender:Male
- Location:Anywhere near water
- Interests:Fried breakfasts, coffee and dogs
Posted 10 October 2012 - 02:32 PM
Angus called in to see his friend Donald to find he was stripping the wallpaper from the walls. Rather obviously, he remarked "You're decorating, I see." to which Donald replied "Naw. I'm moving house."
#12
Goosenka
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- 12,716 posts
Jeep Driving jolly nice chap
- Gender:Male
- Location:Anywhere near water
- Interests:Fried breakfasts, coffee and dogs
Posted 10 October 2012 - 02:37 PM
I bought my wife a wooden leg for Christmas.
It's not her main present, just a stocking filler......
#13
fluffyskg
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- 428 posts
Super Member
- Gender:Male
- Location:Cambridge
Posted 10 October 2012 - 03:07 PM
I bought my wife a wooden leg for Christmas.
It's not her main present, just a stocking filler......
#14
ghand
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- 9,215 posts
Drunken lampposts only
- Gender:Male
- Location:St helens merseyside
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Interests:Whisky.Keeping reptiles.Cars.
The odd bike ride, fell walk and weights
Oh and more whisky
Posted 10 October 2012 - 04:01 PM
A skeleton goes to the bar and asks for a pint of beer and a mop.
#15
Nelly Vx
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- 5,928 posts
3/3 Of a Queen
- Gender:Male
- Location:north wales
Posted 10 October 2012 - 06:01 PM
I said to my girlfriend you have a big fanny ... She said why say it twice
#16
warren t
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- 846 posts
Super Member
- Gender:Male
- Location:abercwmcabbage
- Interests:smarties/ colouring in books/ thomas the tank/super massive black holes/humouring some of the upstarts on this site...hiding behind their keyboards...
Posted 10 October 2012 - 06:40 PM
why do parents take the kids to tescos?.............to smack them.
#17
Chris C
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- 525 posts
Super Duper Member
- Gender:Male
- Location:Tonbridge, Kent
Posted 10 October 2012 - 07:27 PM
What's green and eats nuts?
Syphilis!
#18
ghand
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- 9,215 posts
Drunken lampposts only
- Gender:Male
- Location:St helens merseyside
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Interests:Whisky.Keeping reptiles.Cars.
The odd bike ride, fell walk and weights
Oh and more whisky
Posted 10 October 2012 - 08:54 PM
I can do worse than that
Whats black and white and can't turn around ?
A nun in a corridor with a spear through her neck
Whats black and white and can't turn around ?
A nun in a corridor with a spear through her neck
#19
Hark
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- 3,443 posts
Scary Internerd
- Gender:Male
- Location:West Midlands
Posted 10 October 2012 - 10:43 PM
Wtf lol
#20
davemate
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- 3,228 posts
Harrop!!!
- Gender:Male
- Location:Bath
- Interests:Provoking Badgers
Posted 10 October 2012 - 10:45 PM
I referred to a colleague as a "mabelline sponsored baboon on heat"
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