Jonathan Ross steals a kitchen utensil from a shop. He said it was a whisk he was prepared to take.
One Liners :lol:
Started by
Nelly Vx
, Oct 09 2012 10:02 PM
685 replies to this topic
#181
KurtVerbose
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His Serene Highness
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Posted 03 June 2013 - 08:04 PM
#182
KurtVerbose
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Posted 03 June 2013 - 08:06 PM
How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony? It's not hard.
#183
KurtVerbose
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Posted 03 June 2013 - 08:08 PM
What starts with C and ends in T and has a U and N in it, and is hairy on the outside and moist on the inside? A coconut.
#184
KurtVerbose
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Posted 03 June 2013 - 08:10 PM
What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne? Acne won't come on your face until you're thirteen.
#185
KurtVerbose
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Posted 03 June 2013 - 08:16 PM
Why did the Pervert cross the Road? Because his Dick was in the Chicken.
#186
Claws
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Stage FA NA FTW!
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Posted 26 June 2013 - 01:13 PM
After every near-death experience I always do a formation dance. What doesn't kill me makes me conga
#187
Silent Steve
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Tit
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Posted 04 July 2013 - 07:52 AM
What have a tightrope walk over the grand canyon and a blow job from a toothless 85 year old got in common?
Both are better if you don't look down.
#188
G-Bob
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Embarrassing VX's in an MX5
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Posted 04 July 2013 - 09:34 AM
What's the difference between a joke and a rhetorical question?
#189
Andrew aka Stuwy
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Made In England
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Posted 04 July 2013 - 01:40 PM
What's the difference between a joke and a rhetorical question?
jokes are funny 
#190
KurtVerbose
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Posted 06 July 2013 - 09:33 PM
A centurian goes into a pub, holds two fingers up and says 'five pints please'.
#191
KurtVerbose
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Posted 07 July 2013 - 08:25 PM
What's long, hard and has cum in it? A cucumber.
#192
Rudy
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ZZZzzzzz.....
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Posted 08 July 2013 - 10:42 PM
Corduroy pillows......they're making headlines.
#193
Captain Vimes
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Posted 08 July 2013 - 11:05 PM
To complete the set... What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.What's long, hard and has cum in it? A cucumber.
#194
Captain Vimes
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Posted 08 July 2013 - 11:08 PM
The school had a big problem with drugs especially Class A.
#195
Captain Vimes
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Posted 08 July 2013 - 11:09 PM
As a child I watched Mary Poppins so many times I suffered from a condition with my sight. Umdiddleiddleiddleumdiddle Eye.
#196
Captain Vimes
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Posted 08 July 2013 - 11:10 PM
Does an earl who gets an OBE become an earlobe?
#197
Captain Vimes
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Posted 08 July 2013 - 11:11 PM
The pollen count, now thats a difficult job. Especially if youve got hay fever.
#198
Captain Vimes
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Scary Internerd
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Posted 08 July 2013 - 11:13 PM
i rang up the local take away the other day and asked 'do you deliver?' the bloke said 'no, we do chicken, beef and fish
#199
Captain Vimes
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Posted 08 July 2013 - 11:20 PM
Years ago I used to supply Filofaxes to the mafia. Yes, I was into very organized crime.
#200
KurtVerbose
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Posted 10 August 2013 - 05:42 PM
I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster.
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