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One Liners :lol:

Started by Nelly Vx , Oct 09 2012 10:02 PM

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684 replies to this topic

#241 Rickwoo118

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Posted 01 January 2014 - 09:28 AM

Nice one zuber!!

#242 RabnaKS

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Posted 01 January 2014 - 08:09 PM

2 classic jokes but not really one liners. :P

Need to watch Tim Vine again, He reels them off & you miss some because you're still laughing at the last.

 

I got a pile of plasticine for Xmas but don't know what to make of it!


#243 Claws

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Posted 01 January 2014 - 09:36 PM

Tim Vine is amazing :)

Edited by Claws, 01 January 2014 - 09:36 PM.

#244 hairy

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Posted 02 January 2014 - 04:37 PM

Tampax are marketing a new tampon made with silvery cotton wool and a glittery string. This is for the Christmas period only.

 


#245 spuk87

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Posted 02 January 2014 - 10:57 PM

Only one more sleep till Christmas...for Michael Schumacher.

 

For all my Scottish mates, the 1986 calendars are the ones you can now pull out and use again.

 

I just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll keep you posted :lol:


Edited by spuk87, 02 January 2014 - 11:00 PM.

#246 hairy

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Posted 05 January 2014 - 10:02 AM

Differences between male and female film-watching habits: What they mean, when they say: "I got through a whole box of tissues watching that film."

 


#247 hairy

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Posted 16 February 2014 - 09:38 AM

After going to see 12 Years A Slave at my local cinema, I now understand how it feels to be exploited and robbed of your dignity by ruthless, mercenary overseers. £4.20 for a Pepsi Max!!


#248 RabnaKS

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Posted 16 February 2014 - 04:27 PM

After going to see 12 Years A Slave at my local cinema, I now understand how it feels to be exploited and robbed of your dignity by ruthless, mercenary overseers. £4.20 for a Pepsi Max!!

Bag searches at ours:[


#249 Zuber

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Posted 18 February 2014 - 05:17 PM

 

After going to see 12 Years A Slave at my local cinema, I now understand how it feels to be exploited and robbed of your dignity by ruthless, mercenary overseers. £4.20 for a Pepsi Max!!

Bag searches at ours:[

 

 

Are there any signs up saying you can't take your own food & drink ?

 

I was looking at ours the other day and didn't see any. Smuggled in a pack of chocolates. Did buy Nachos & Drink so guilt free.  


#250 RabnaKS

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Posted 18 February 2014 - 08:26 PM

 

 

After going to see 12 Years A Slave at my local cinema, I now understand how it feels to be exploited and robbed of your dignity by ruthless, mercenary overseers. £4.20 for a Pepsi Max!!

Bag searches at ours:[

 

 

Are there any signs up saying you can't take your own food & drink ?

 

I was looking at ours the other day and didn't see any. Smuggled in a pack of chocolates. Did buy Nachos & Drink so guilt free.  

 

I just bare in mind you're allowed in at there discretion whether you pay or not? And I think I'm a tight git & would cringe paying for somat I don't get!


#251 hairy

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Posted 19 February 2014 - 07:25 PM

A new study has found that women with large backsides live longer than men who mention it.


#252 FLD

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Posted 23 February 2014 - 10:30 AM

One famous artist with brown fingers.....Picasso


#253 hairy

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Posted 23 February 2014 - 02:34 PM

Carrots may be good for your eyes ... but booze will double your vision :drink:


#254 KurtVerbose

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Posted 24 February 2014 - 07:38 PM

I organized a threesome last night. There were a couple of no-shows, but that didn't stop me.


#255 KurtVerbose

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Posted 24 February 2014 - 07:50 PM

Standard deviation not enough for a perverted statistician.


#256 KurtVerbose

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Posted 24 February 2014 - 07:51 PM

Kleptomaniacs are no good at jokes because they always take everything literally.


#257 KurtVerbose

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Posted 24 February 2014 - 07:53 PM

Why do autobiography's have an 'about the author' section?


#258 Andrew aka Stuwy

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 02:02 PM

the future, past and present went into a bar.

 

It was tense


#259 KurtVerbose

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Posted 24 March 2014 - 06:20 PM

The barman says: “We don’t serve faster-than-light particles here.” A tachyon enters a bar.


#260 Harry Hornet

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Posted 05 April 2014 - 08:09 AM

A plumber was in court for having sex with a dog got reprieved

 

..he was corgi registered


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