Now that Chris and Gwyneth have made Apple crumble, I wonder who'll get custardy?
One Liners :lol:
Started by
Nelly Vx
, Oct 09 2012 10:02 PM
684 replies to this topic
#261
hairy
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Posted 11 April 2014 - 07:23 PM
#262
Harry Hornet
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Posted 16 April 2014 - 12:51 PM
A policeman found Luton Town footballers playing football with a hedgehog
He was just about to call the RSPCA and nick them when he realised the hedgehog was 2-0 up 
#263
Nimrod
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Posted 16 April 2014 - 08:48 PM
I looked in the washing machine today and there was just one sock..... I thought... That's odd... oooooooohhhhhhh
#264
hairy
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Posted 21 April 2014 - 08:20 AM
Just been invited to a Post Office fancy dress party. I'll be there in a jiffy.
#265
hairy
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Posted 26 April 2014 - 08:31 AM
My colleague can no longer attend next weeks Innuendo Seminar so I have to fill her slot instead.
#266
KurtVerbose
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Posted 29 May 2014 - 07:11 PM
The latest club craze is to fill a woman's vagina with vodka and then suck it out using a straw. Doctors are warning about the dangers of minge drinking
#267
hairy
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Posted 09 June 2014 - 06:30 PM
It's a good job we humans no longer have to hunt for our food. I don't even know where crisps live.
#268
KurtVerbose
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Posted 12 June 2014 - 01:44 PM
The wife said to me last night “If you turn the bedside lamp off I'll take it up the bum... Maybe I should have waited for the bulb to cool down first….
#269
Andrew aka Stuwy
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Posted 12 June 2014 - 02:52 PM
How much do old car batteries cost?
nothing, they are free of charge...
#270
KurtVerbose
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Posted 12 June 2014 - 03:22 PM
To all of you, including myself.... 
#271
KurtVerbose
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Posted 13 June 2014 - 11:12 AM
The England team visited an orphanage in Brazil today. "It's heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope" said Jose, age 6.......
#272
hairy
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Posted 20 July 2014 - 07:57 AM
Whenever I need to cheer myself up I play our wedding video.
Backwards. I like the bit where she hands me the ring back, shuffles off down the aisle, gets back in the limo and buggers off out of my life.
#273
hairy
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Posted 13 August 2014 - 06:16 PM
My wife told me "Sex is better on holiday" That wasn't a very nice postcard to receive!
#274
Goosenka
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Posted 13 August 2014 - 06:33 PM
My wife told me "Sex is better on holiday" That wasn't a very nice postcard to receive!
#275
hairy
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Posted 18 September 2014 - 06:11 PM
When the inventor of the USB stick dies they'll gently lower the coffin, then pull it back up, turn it the other way, then lower it again.
#276
hairy
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Posted 04 October 2014 - 08:21 AM
Why did the baker have brown knuckles? He kneaded a poo...
#277
Rally
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Posted 04 October 2014 - 06:53 PM
There was an explosion at the cheese factory - all that was left was de brie.
#278
fiveoclock
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Posted 04 October 2014 - 07:01 PM
I love 11th century Spanish food...........its so Moorish
#279
KurtVerbose
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Posted 09 October 2014 - 09:35 PM
Just been thrown off an online forum dedicated to hazelnut chocolate bars because I kept going off Topic.
#280
TheRealVXed
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Posted 10 October 2014 - 01:27 PM
Just been thrown off an online forum dedicated to hazelnut chocolate bars because I kept going off Topic.
this one really tickled me
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