I received an email about processed meat causing cancer, but I suspect it's just spam.
One Liners :lol:
Started by
Nelly Vx
, Oct 09 2012 10:02 PM
684 replies to this topic
#381
hairy
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Posted 01 November 2015 - 09:33 AM
#382
hairy
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Posted 06 November 2015 - 07:05 PM
My psychiatrist says I make things up all the time, which is strange as I don't have a psychiatrist.
#383
hairy
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Posted 16 November 2015 - 07:20 PM
Going to see Spectre tonight. My wife wanted to see Suffragette, but she doesn't get a vote....
#384
hairy
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Posted 19 November 2015 - 09:45 PM
I keep a flask of whisky in my pocket in case I get a snake bite ... just to make sure, I keep a small snake in the other pocket.
#385
hairy
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Posted 23 November 2015 - 07:48 PM
The good thing about this time of year is that buying 4 tubs of Roses and 9 bottles of wine just looks like I’m really organised for Christmas.
#386
Oldboystoy
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Posted 24 November 2015 - 08:38 PM
T
#387
zimmer
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Posted 02 December 2015 - 09:09 PM
1 in 2 and a half men have AIDS
#388
hairy
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Posted 15 December 2015 - 07:46 PM
They say people have sex about 50 times a year ... the rest of December is going to be fantastic!
#389
hairy
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Posted 02 January 2016 - 09:56 PM
My wife said she wants "Those little fish that eat the dead skin off your feet." for Christmas. I don't know what they're called so piranha it is.
#390
Wolfstone
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Posted 03 January 2016 - 12:00 AM
I hate Russian dolls, they're so full of themselves.
I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn't complain.
I, for one, like Roman numerals.
I haven't talked to my wife in three weeks. I didn't want to interrupt her.
People used to laugh at me when I would say "I want to be a comedian", well nobody's laughing now.
The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself "This changes everything".
My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
#391
hairy
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Posted 24 January 2016 - 11:30 AM
I started a support group for men with erectile dysfunction - it was a complete flop, nobody came......
#392
oblomov
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Posted 24 January 2016 - 02:58 PM
With Billy Connolly in the car Ralph McTell got lost driving from Putney to Knightsbridge. "Didn't you write 'Let me take you by the hand and lead you through the streets of London?"' asked Connolly.
#393
chris_uk
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Posted 25 January 2016 - 12:03 AM
Sometimes i wake up grumpy... Other times i let her sleep in.
#394
RabnaKS
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Posted 25 January 2016 - 11:04 PM
Awe Chris! I read that on FB yesterday, then wife fell out with me when I showed her!😄Sometimes i wake up grumpy... Other times i let her sleep in.
#395
chez
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Posted 31 January 2016 - 10:20 PM
My Mrs has left me as she says I have an un-healthy obsession with American TV programmes
Happy Days
Edited by chez, 31 January 2016 - 10:22 PM.
#396
chez
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Posted 31 January 2016 - 10:21 PM
Double post
Edited by chez, 31 January 2016 - 10:21 PM.
#397
hairy
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Posted 07 February 2016 - 09:56 AM
I took battery out of the CO detector yesterday ... the loud beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick and dizzy.
#398
hairy
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Posted 12 February 2016 - 09:50 PM
Will glass coffins be a success?
.
.
.
...remains to be seen.
#399
hairy
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Posted 13 February 2016 - 03:11 PM
The waiter said, "Your table will be ready shortly." It's the last time I'll be going to Ikea's restaurant.
#400
chez
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Posted 14 February 2016 - 03:59 PM
😂😂😂😂Will glass coffins be a success? . . . ...remains to be seen.
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