One Liners :lol:
Started by
Nelly Vx
, Oct 09 2012 10:02 PM
684 replies to this topic
#401
Goosenka
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- 12,716 posts
Jeep Driving jolly nice chap
- Gender:Male
- Location:Anywhere near water
- Interests:Fried breakfasts, coffee and dogs
Posted 16 February 2016 - 10:22 AM
Hairy you must be a blast at dinner parties
#402
Wolfstone
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- 12,985 posts
Iceman
- Gender:Male
- Location:Jordan (The country. Not Katie Price)
- Interests:Northants Pedantic Crew global domination of the media.
Posted 16 February 2016 - 01:00 PM
Especially if he serves fishcakes.
#403
hairy
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- 5,911 posts
Moonlander
- Gender:Male
- Location:Bristol
- Interests:cars, beer, nature
Posted 19 February 2016 - 06:43 PM
I was up all night wondering where the Sun had gone. Then it dawned on me.
#404
hairy
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- 5,911 posts
Moonlander
- Gender:Male
- Location:Bristol
- Interests:cars, beer, nature
Posted 25 February 2016 - 07:36 PM
The man who invented anagrams has died ... may he erect a penis
#405
hairy
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- 5,911 posts
Moonlander
- Gender:Male
- Location:Bristol
- Interests:cars, beer, nature
Posted 26 February 2016 - 07:47 PM
I walked out of my job at a helium factory yesterday, my boss accused me of causing a leak in one of the pipes - I told him that I didn't like being spoken to in that tone of voice.
#406
hairy
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- 5,911 posts
Moonlander
- Gender:Male
- Location:Bristol
- Interests:cars, beer, nature
Posted 29 February 2016 - 07:44 PM
Out of all the blood group types, the worst spellers are type O's.
#407
hairy
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- 5,911 posts
Moonlander
- Gender:Male
- Location:Bristol
- Interests:cars, beer, nature
Posted 19 March 2016 - 10:02 AM
I now have enough money to live very comfortably for the rest of my life ... if I die next Tuesday.
#408
hairy
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- 5,911 posts
Moonlander
- Gender:Male
- Location:Bristol
- Interests:cars, beer, nature
Posted 28 March 2016 - 07:01 AM
The man who invented autocorrect has died. His funfair is next monkey.
#409
Wolfstone
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- 12,985 posts
Iceman
- Gender:Male
- Location:Jordan (The country. Not Katie Price)
- Interests:Northants Pedantic Crew global domination of the media.
Posted 30 March 2016 - 12:10 PM
ITS A BOY" I shouted "A BOY, A BOY, I DON'T BELIEVE IT, ITS A fcuking BOY"...!
And with tears streaming down my face, I swore I'd never visit another Thai Brothel again..
#410
Ali87
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- 1,287 posts
Billy No Mates
- Gender:Male
- Location:Doune
Posted 30 March 2016 - 01:11 PM
until the next time...ITS A BOY" I shouted "A BOY, A BOY, I DON'T BELIEVE IT, ITS A fcuking BOY"...! And with tears streaming down my face, I swore I'd never visit another Thai Brothel again..
#411
hairy
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- 5,911 posts
Moonlander
- Gender:Male
- Location:Bristol
- Interests:cars, beer, nature
Posted 02 April 2016 - 11:26 AM
Saw an application to join the self-deprecating society ... I put myself down.
#412
hairy
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- 5,911 posts
Moonlander
- Gender:Male
- Location:Bristol
- Interests:cars, beer, nature
Posted 08 April 2016 - 05:48 PM
North Korea has fired a ballistic missile into the sea ... and it was a direct hit.
#413
hairy
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- 5,911 posts
Moonlander
- Gender:Male
- Location:Bristol
- Interests:cars, beer, nature
Posted 11 April 2016 - 06:59 PM
I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles...my next crap could spell disaster.
#414
KurtVerbose
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- 3,779 posts
His Serene Highness
- Gender:Male
- Location:Merlischachen
- Interests:Big baps.
Posted 11 April 2016 - 08:25 PM
Must be a consonant worry for you, what comes out of your vowels?
#415
KurtVerbose
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- 3,779 posts
His Serene Highness
- Gender:Male
- Location:Merlischachen
- Interests:Big baps.
Posted 24 April 2016 - 07:22 AM
My parents are from Glasgow which means they're incredibly hard, but I was never smacked as a child. Well, maybe one or two grams to get me to sleep at night.
#416
KurtVerbose
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- 3,779 posts
His Serene Highness
- Gender:Male
- Location:Merlischachen
- Interests:Big baps.
Posted 24 April 2016 - 07:23 AM
I heard a rumour that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental chocolate bar. Could be a Chinese Wispa.
#417
KurtVerbose
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- 3,779 posts
His Serene Highness
- Gender:Male
- Location:Merlischachen
- Interests:Big baps.
Posted 24 April 2016 - 07:25 AM
If I discovered a new animal I’d call it a Quorn to mess with vegetarians.
#418
KurtVerbose
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- 3,779 posts
His Serene Highness
- Gender:Male
- Location:Merlischachen
- Interests:Big baps.
Posted 24 April 2016 - 07:26 AM
You can’t lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, then what you’ve lost is a pigeon.
#419
KurtVerbose
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- 3,779 posts
His Serene Highness
- Gender:Male
- Location:Merlischachen
- Interests:Big baps.
Posted 24 April 2016 - 07:26 AM
So I rang up British Telecom, I said 'I want to report a nuisance caller', he said 'Not you again'.
#420
KurtVerbose
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- 3,779 posts
His Serene Highness
- Gender:Male
- Location:Merlischachen
- Interests:Big baps.
Posted 24 April 2016 - 07:27 AM
I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting!
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