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#421 hairy

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Posted 24 April 2016 - 09:04 AM

What's blue and not very heavy?   Light blue.



#422 KurtVerbose

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Posted 24 April 2016 - 08:33 PM

What's blue and not very heavy?   Light blue.

 

:lol:  



#423 hairy

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Posted 28 April 2016 - 06:11 PM

I just did a GCSE in honey making ... I got a bee in it!



#424 hairy

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Posted 01 May 2016 - 09:30 AM

My five-year-old son said he wanted a treehouse in the back garden. Twenty years growing a tree and now he doesn't want it anymore.



#425 hairy

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Posted 05 May 2016 - 08:37 PM

Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.



#426 hairy

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Posted 08 May 2016 - 03:28 PM

Some bloke just tried to sell me Supergirl, Lara Croft and Wonder Woman, I think he might be a heroine dealer..



#427 hairy

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Posted 14 May 2016 - 09:21 AM

What's the worst thing about a lung transplant? Coughing up someone else's phleghm



#428 Ali87

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Posted 16 May 2016 - 01:39 PM

I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something

#429 Ali87

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Posted 16 May 2016 - 01:40 PM

A man fell on a band saw and had his left side cut off. He all right now tho

#430 Harry Hornet

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Posted 16 May 2016 - 02:21 PM

..have you heard of the Ginger who stripped his engine down  when it would nt start...

 

..he had run out of petrol... :D :D :D :groupjump:



#431 Ali87

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Posted 16 May 2016 - 02:33 PM

:lol: :groupjump:

#432 Harry Hornet

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Posted 16 May 2016 - 03:19 PM

..have you heard of the Ginger who stripped his engine down  when it would nt start...

 

..he had run out of petrol... :D :D :D :groupjump:

 

and the bigger punchline is..

 

....he even had the RAC tow him home !!!!



#433 hairy

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Posted 19 May 2016 - 08:17 PM

I bought a self-help CD series called "How to Handle Disappointment" ... took it home and the box was empty.



#434 KurtVerbose

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Posted 19 May 2016 - 09:04 PM

BNAG - that's BANG out of order.



#435 hairy

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Posted 06 June 2016 - 06:43 PM

Two Thai women asked me if I wanted to sleep with them - they said it would be like winning the lottery ... To my horror, they were right. We had six matching balls.



#436 hairy

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Posted 09 June 2016 - 08:26 PM

Durex - Because not everyone wants to watch Peppa Pig at 5.30am.



#437 KurtVerbose

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Posted 10 June 2016 - 07:14 AM

I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know Y.



#438 KurtVerbose

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Posted 11 June 2016 - 02:19 PM

My girlfriend is scared of heights. After she met me she also became scared of widths and lengths.



#439 davemate

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Posted 12 June 2016 - 10:52 AM

Viagra- It wont make you James Bond, but it will make you Roger Moore. 



#440 hairy

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Posted 19 June 2016 - 10:13 AM

I'm now 20 hours into my sponsored semaphore marathon, unfortunately I'm starting to flag quite badly.






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