I was at the pool today and decided to have a sneaky wee in the deep end. The life guard must have noticed though... he blew his whistle so loud I nearly fell in.
One Liners :lol:
Started by
Nelly Vx
, Oct 09 2012 10:02 PM
684 replies to this topic
#441
hairy
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Posted 25 June 2016 - 08:54 AM
#442
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Posted 09 July 2016 - 08:54 PM
Dear Agony Aunt: One of my nipples is a different colour from the other two... is this normal?
#443
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Posted 30 July 2016 - 05:04 PM
Following the tragic death of the human cannonball, a spokesman for the circus said... "We’ll struggle to get another man of the same calibre."
#444
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Posted 31 July 2016 - 08:09 AM
The thing I love most about this hot weather is the short skirts and low cut tops ... although, they do make me look a bit gay.
#446
Midlife
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Posted 08 August 2016 - 07:26 PM
I made a mistake once, I thought I was wrong...
#447
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Posted 14 August 2016 - 10:59 AM
I took my Granddad to one of these spas where the little fish eat all of the dead skin. It cost £55, but it was a lot cheaper than a funeral.
#448
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Posted 03 September 2016 - 10:16 PM
My girlfriend wanted us to make love on the bonnet of her Honda Civic ... I told her, if I'm going to do that, it's going to be on my own Accord.
#449
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Posted 08 September 2016 - 10:14 PM
Gambling addiction hot lines could convince more gamblers to phone in if every tenth caller was a winner.
#450
Nev
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Posted 09 September 2016 - 08:01 AM
#451
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Posted 09 September 2016 - 08:10 AM
My friend keeps saying, "Cheer up mate, it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water." I know he means well.
#452
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Posted 09 September 2016 - 11:53 AM
My friend keeps saying, "Cheer up mate, it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water." I know he means well.
It must be a quiet day at work! 
#453
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Posted 09 September 2016 - 06:09 PM
Ok - how about this one: I asked my boss what to do with a 6m roll of bubbles rap ? He said "pop it in the corner". Four hours that took me!It must be a quiet day at work!My friend keeps saying, "Cheer up mate, it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water." I know he means well.
#454
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Posted 29 September 2016 - 07:39 PM
It takes a lot of balls to play golf the way I do.
#455
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Posted 07 October 2016 - 03:53 PM
If a blind girl tells you that you're well-endowed ... she's probably pulling your leg.
#456
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Posted 09 October 2016 - 10:42 AM
Will glass coffins be sucessful? Remains to be seen.
#457
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Posted 14 October 2016 - 02:46 PM
I was walking past Old Trafford when I saw two tickets nailed to a fence. I thought: I'm having those! - a man can never have too many nails!
#458
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Posted 21 October 2016 - 04:05 PM
I thought my new girlfriend might be the one, but after looking through her wardrobe and finding a nurse's outfit, a French maid's outfit and a police woman's uniform, I finally decided... If she can't hold down a job, she's not for me.
#459
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Posted 28 October 2016 - 05:15 PM
My penis used to be in the Guinness Book of World Records...until the librarian told me to take it out.
#460
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Posted 12 November 2016 - 10:08 AM
It takes a lot of balls to play golf the way I do.
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