Blind prostitutes ...........you have to hand it to them.
One Liners :lol:
Started by
Nelly Vx
, Oct 09 2012 10:02 PM
696 replies to this topic
#121
KurtVerbose
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- 3,826 posts
His Serene Highness
- Gender:Male
- Location:Merlischachen
- Interests:Big baps.
Posted 25 February 2013 - 08:17 PM
#122
KurtVerbose
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- 3,826 posts
His Serene Highness
- Gender:Male
- Location:Merlischachen
- Interests:Big baps.
Posted 25 February 2013 - 08:18 PM
These are all eco jokes. I'm recycling.
#123
Duncan_F
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- 3,725 posts
Scary Internerd
- Gender:Male
- Location:North West
Posted 25 February 2013 - 08:30 PM
I bought an umbrella today but decided not to use it, think I'll save it for a rainy day.
#124
Duncan_F
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- 3,725 posts
Scary Internerd
- Gender:Male
- Location:North West
Posted 25 February 2013 - 08:31 PM
My friend didn't believe me when I told her that I'd bought a car made out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta.
#125
Duncan_F
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- 3,725 posts
Scary Internerd
- Gender:Male
- Location:North West
Posted 25 February 2013 - 08:32 PM
Our neighbour's dog shat in our garden today, so the missus told me to get a shovel and throw it over the fence.
I don't see what that solved, we've still got dog poo in our garden, and the neighbours have our shovel.
#126
Duncan_F
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- 3,725 posts
Scary Internerd
- Gender:Male
- Location:North West
Posted 25 February 2013 - 08:38 PM
My missus turned off the TV whilst I was watching it today. After a few moments of staring at the blank screen, I thought to myself, "That's not on".
#127
Duncan_F
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- 3,725 posts
Scary Internerd
- Gender:Male
- Location:North West
Posted 25 February 2013 - 08:39 PM
I bought a dog off a blacksmith earlier tonight. As soon as I got it home it made a bolt for the door.
#128
hairy
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- 6,003 posts
Moonlander
- Gender:Male
- Location:Bristol
- Interests:cars, beer, nature
Posted 27 February 2013 - 06:54 PM
Recommendations: 53
Me and my wife stopped at a Motorway Services, today, for some breakfast. We had two fry ups, two coffees and two jam doughnuts. I got to the cashier and said, "I'm sorry, love, but I've only got a £50 note."
"That's okay," she replied, "just put the doughnuts back."
#129
Claws
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- 5,246 posts
Stage FA NA FTW!
- Gender:Male
- Location:Motherwell
- Interests:Daft plastic cars
Posted 08 April 2013 - 09:53 AM
I can see 7 years into the future...
I have 2020 vision!
#130
Harry Hornet
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- 4,973 posts
Scary Internerd
- Gender:Not Telling
- Location:x
Posted 08 April 2013 - 12:32 PM
Stewardess asked me if i wanted some head phones
..I answered "how did you know my name was phones"
..I answered "how did you know my name was phones"
#131
KurtVerbose
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- 3,826 posts
His Serene Highness
- Gender:Male
- Location:Merlischachen
- Interests:Big baps.
Posted 08 April 2013 - 03:15 PM
Steward
essasked me if i wanted some head phones
..I answered "how did you know my name was phones"
#132
SPLAM
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- 6,491 posts
Whipping Boy
- Gender:Male
- Location:Harlow Essex
Posted 09 April 2013 - 10:04 PM
If you read this thread quick enough it's like being at a Tim Vine gig.
#133
Goosenka
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- 12,716 posts
Jeep Driving jolly nice chap
- Gender:Male
- Location:Anywhere near water
- Interests:Fried breakfasts, coffee and dogs
Posted 10 April 2013 - 11:00 AM
It was hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey Cokey. But I’ve turned myself around and that’s what it’s all about.
Edited by Goosenka, 10 April 2013 - 11:01 AM.
#134
Rickwoo118
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- 5,800 posts
Scary Internerd
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- Location:Stamford
Posted 10 April 2013 - 11:11 AM
I can see 7 years into the future...
I have 2020 vision!
Like it!
#135
spuk87
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- 3,624 posts
Ex-owner
- Gender:Male
- Location:NJ, USA (ex-West Midlands)
- Interests:Cars, technology, drones, cycling
Posted 10 April 2013 - 11:53 AM
It was hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey Cokey. But I’ve turned myself around and that’s what it’s all about.
#136
G-Bob
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- 8,256 posts
Embarrassing VX's in an MX5
- Gender:Male
- Location:West Lothian
- Interests:Silver VX Bashing!
Posted 10 April 2013 - 12:25 PM
It was hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey Cokey. But I’ve turned myself around and that’s what it’s all about.
Stolen and passed off as my own!
#137
spuk87
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- 3,624 posts
Ex-owner
- Gender:Male
- Location:NJ, USA (ex-West Midlands)
- Interests:Cars, technology, drones, cycling
Posted 10 April 2013 - 12:28 PM
It was hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey Cokey. But I’ve turned myself around and that’s what it’s all about.
Stolen and passed off as my own!
I did the same
#138
KurtVerbose
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- 3,826 posts
His Serene Highness
- Gender:Male
- Location:Merlischachen
- Interests:Big baps.
Posted 10 April 2013 - 02:22 PM
I was addicted to dressing up as a monk, but I've finally been able to kick the habit.
#139
Craig S
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- 2,787 posts
DA-DA-DUM!
- Gender:Male
- Location:Stirling, Scotland
- Interests:Finding uses for heavy duty velcro :)
Posted 12 April 2013 - 11:07 AM
My new aftershave smells like breadcrumbs, the birds love it.
#140
KurtVerbose
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- 3,826 posts
His Serene Highness
- Gender:Male
- Location:Merlischachen
- Interests:Big baps.
Posted 12 April 2013 - 01:01 PM
OAP porn. Not worth a toss.
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