They laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian, well, they're not laughing now............
One Liners :lol:
Started by
Nelly Vx
, Oct 09 2012 10:02 PM
685 replies to this topic
#141
salopian
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Need to get Out More
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Posted 13 April 2013 - 11:42 AM
#142
KurtVerbose
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His Serene Highness
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Posted 17 May 2013 - 02:15 PM
Animals that can't decide whether to live on land or in water are ambiguous.
#143
KurtVerbose
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His Serene Highness
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Posted 17 May 2013 - 02:21 PM
My friend Frasier joined the para's. He was always restating things.
#144
KurtVerbose
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His Serene Highness
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Posted 25 May 2013 - 07:32 PM
When my friend drowned at the funeral I bought him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt. It's what he would've wanted.
#145
KurtVerbose
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His Serene Highness
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Posted 25 May 2013 - 07:33 PM
Fish swam into a wall. Dam.
#146
KurtVerbose
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His Serene Highness
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Posted 25 May 2013 - 07:35 PM
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
#147
KurtVerbose
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His Serene Highness
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Posted 25 May 2013 - 07:37 PM
I'm wearing that new breadcrumb scented after-shave... The birds love it.
#148
Claws
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Stage FA NA FTW!
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- Location:Motherwell
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Posted 25 May 2013 - 07:38 PM
I'm wearing that new breadcrumb scented after-shave... The birds love it.
brilliant!!
#149
Claws
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Stage FA NA FTW!
- Gender:Male
- Location:Motherwell
- Interests:Daft plastic cars
Posted 25 May 2013 - 07:41 PM
My uncle claims to have a market stall selling clockwork toys. I don't know whether to believe him or not, he can be a bit of a wind-up merchant
#150
Rudy
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ZZZzzzzz.....
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Posted 25 May 2013 - 07:43 PM
Abstain from wine, women and song. Mostly song.
#151
Rudy
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ZZZzzzzz.....
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Posted 25 May 2013 - 07:47 PM
Change is inevitable. Except from a vending machine.
#152
Harry Hornet
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Scary Internerd
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Posted 25 May 2013 - 07:51 PM
Luton Town are planning a pre season tour to Blackpool
SO they have a chance to go on an open top bus 
#153
KurtVerbose
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His Serene Highness
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Posted 25 May 2013 - 08:07 PM
After an accident my friend lost his sight and hearing. It was really hard breaking the news to him.
#154
KurtVerbose
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His Serene Highness
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Posted 25 May 2013 - 08:09 PM
I saw a girl with 12 nipples. Sounds pretty strange, dozen tit?
#155
KurtVerbose
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His Serene Highness
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Posted 25 May 2013 - 08:10 PM
The inventor Velcro has died.
RIP.
#156
KurtVerbose
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His Serene Highness
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Posted 25 May 2013 - 08:11 PM
How does a cockney contact the local authority through his computer? By pressing the Cancel button.
#157
KurtVerbose
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His Serene Highness
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Posted 25 May 2013 - 08:12 PM
"Jamaican hairstyle day", at work tomorrow, I'm dreading it.
#158
KurtVerbose
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His Serene Highness
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Posted 25 May 2013 - 08:14 PM
The Queen went on the Buckingham Palace intranet to find her servant, but got 'page not found'.
#159
Goosenka
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Jeep Driving jolly nice chap
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Posted 25 May 2013 - 08:17 PM
Superb 
#160
Rudy
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ZZZzzzzz.....
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Posted 25 May 2013 - 08:19 PM
There was a gay lad in my class at school. Whilst we were dissecting a frog he was opening up flies.
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