I got a drunk to re-upholster my sofa. He's a recovering alcoholic.
One Liners :lol:
Started by
Nelly Vx
, Oct 09 2012 10:02 PM
685 replies to this topic
#161
KurtVerbose
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Posted 25 May 2013 - 08:19 PM
#162
KurtVerbose
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Posted 25 May 2013 - 08:22 PM
Heard a lot of poetry at the hospital. It was the serious burns unit.
#163
KurtVerbose
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Posted 25 May 2013 - 08:24 PM
I keep having sex with tramps. I'm a hobosexual.
#164
KurtVerbose
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Posted 25 May 2013 - 08:25 PM
Man clings to life after eating too many German sausages. Doctors fear the wurst.
#165
Goosenka
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Posted 25 May 2013 - 08:26 PM
Man clings to life after eating too many German sausages. Doctors fear the wurst.
#166
KurtVerbose
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Posted 25 May 2013 - 08:27 PM
Since my divorce 3 years ago, I've put on 10 stone. The Doctor's told me I have to stop celebrating.
#167
Rudy
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ZZZzzzzz.....
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Posted 25 May 2013 - 08:27 PM
Lol. All class fella.
#168
Rudy
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ZZZzzzzz.....
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Posted 25 May 2013 - 08:30 PM
The label in the prostitutes knickers said "Next"
#169
Rudy
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ZZZzzzzz.....
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Posted 25 May 2013 - 08:34 PM
Wayne Rooneys new kid Klay. Already his name is mud.
#170
Andrew aka Stuwy
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Posted 29 May 2013 - 10:28 AM
just heard this joke and had to share and I just wet myself laughing..
Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because I put on the wrong socks
#171
Andrew aka Stuwy
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Made In England
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Posted 30 May 2013 - 02:55 PM
Sitting on the bed last night pulling off my boxers and my wife turned to me and said
you really spoil those dogs
#172
TheRealVXed
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Sidekick
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Posted 31 May 2013 - 09:53 AM
just heard this joke and had to share and I just wet myself laughing..
Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because I put on the wrong socks
Sitting on the bed last night pulling off my boxers and my wife turned to me and said
you really spoil those dogs
They both had me laughing
#173
hairy
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Moonlander
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Posted 03 June 2013 - 06:19 AM
Took my wife out for dinner last night and we played footsie under the table while we were eating. I had a lovely steak with all the trimmings and she got toed in the hole!
#174
Nelly Vx
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Posted 03 June 2013 - 07:18 AM
Ikea launch a new range of self assembly lesbian furniture , no tools required its all tounge in groove ..
#175
Nelly Vx
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Posted 03 June 2013 - 07:25 AM
I got sacked from the local bingo ...... Apparently " a meal for two with a terrible view " is not the way to call out 69 !!!
#176
FLD
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WANNABE MY LOVER
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Posted 03 June 2013 - 10:51 AM
[color=#1f497d;][font="calibri;"]I was the getaway driver at a robbery from a paper factory in Bristol last night.[/color][/font]
[color=#1f497d;][font="calibri;"]We took the A4.[/color][/font]
#177
Goosenka
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Posted 03 June 2013 - 10:52 AM
I took my wife to the zoo. There wasn't room for her.
#178
Goosenka
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Jeep Driving jolly nice chap
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Posted 03 June 2013 - 10:54 AM
[color=rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Times;font-size:medium;]She was the flabbiest stripper I've ever seen. When she ran off the stage she started her own applause. [/color]
[color=rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Times;font-size:medium;]I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, Six should be enough." [/color]
[color=rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Times;font-size:medium;]I wouldn't say the house was damp but the kids went to bed with a periscope. [/color]
#179
KurtVerbose
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Posted 03 June 2013 - 08:01 PM
Due to the current economic crisis, Greece is cancelling all production of humus and taramasalata. It's a double dip recession.
#180
KurtVerbose
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Posted 03 June 2013 - 08:03 PM
A dwarf goes to a doctor "Do you treat dwarves?" The doctor replies "Yes, but you will have to be a little patient".
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