ok, this is a hell of a long report for such a short trip, and filled with Ringer references you won't get, but something to print out and take to the john for some reading material at least... looking forward to a proper report from Ricky and Ben!
Ring Diary entry 8 (Beetle), September 17-19 2004:
dear diary,
This was to be another one of my patented 14 hours on the road for about 1 hr on the NS trips (inverse of Karl's ratio), because everybody in the Northern Hemisphere except for a guy whose last name rhymes with Paddock was due to be there, and I was to be on the road anyway. This time had a twist, instead of a sporty "lets try to improve my lines and get a bit more committed" car, circumstances (Avis) dictated I drive the pinnacle/nadir of function-follows-form motoring, the VW Beetle Cabrio Diesel. Not only could I remedy the oversight of VW obviously never using the Nordschleife in the car's development, but hoped to bring some of the whimsical "Touristen" spirit back into Touristenfahrt, as seen in Rhapsodie in Blech, minus the carnage. So, let Kaefer madness commence!
pix here
http://tinyurl.com/5rbbm
Friday:
Leave sunny Goerlitz after lunch, 500km and 4 hours later arrive at my buddies place in Regensburg to celebrate his Birthday. Upon arrival, like Homer Simpson snacking on buttered rolls before his steak eating contest, I drink a weizenbier with dinner. Foolhearty move, knowing Tom likes to kick festivities off at their favorite bar with a champagne bucket containing a 1L bottle of vodka and 4 cans of red bull, plus being a birthday, shots at midnight. Evening ends at 5AM, with vague memories of dancing for hours on stage in Regensburgs hottest techno club like Ferris Bueller in the parade scene, then demanding the Taxi driver go through the drive thru at McDogfoods.
Saturday:
Groggily push off from Regensburg 11AM, drive 500km via a traffic snarled A3 to Nurburg, sun baking my face to a nice shade of Ferrari red. Arrive NS 5PM and see a line of cars exiting the NS backed up almost to the gantry. WTF?!
Answer came after parking on the slip road and walking in, carpark was madder than ever, and a full size tour bus making a K turn in front of the Gruene Hoelle ensured the line grew longer.
Had to do a lap of course, so went out with Lovejoy and confirmed that you would have to do just one modification to the Beetle to make it fast on the ring: a "for sale, best offer" sign. Then take whatever cash you got and buy anything else. Actually, there were a few good things to mention in addition to the innumerous stupid: chunky, multi-adjustable steering wheel, seats more bolstered than a Clio Ragnozzi Edition (for good reason, despite max 0.3 lateral g's, it lists more than an America's cup sailboat), seats 4, and has unrivalled outward visibility except for the center rear mirror. Other than that, it sucked.
Track closed around 6:30, according to the grapevine a first lapper in a Civic Type R lost it just BEFORE the FR compression at tremendous speed, barrel-rolling halfway up the hill. Helicopter, fire brigade, cops, the works. All the markings of an Xbox hero, hope he lives to play again.
Said hi to some ringers, promised pax laps for the next day, cleaned up at the pension, then had an enjoyable dinner at the PK with JW, Ben, Adri, Adrian, Birgit, Jochen, Matt, US Jon (there in a rental 996, with old age comes wisdom!), Kim, Jeppe, Soren, Alex, and an appearance by the Bad Dragon himself, though I didn't get to introduce myself till the next day.
It was getting late, so Jochen decided to end the evening with a little stroll, a stroll which took us (me, Jochen, Matt, and Alex) out of Nuerburg, over the Tiergarten Bridge, through the woods, and to the main straight a bit before the gantry. Matt then spent 5 minutes looking for some mythical hole in the chain link fence, gave up and almost broke his neck noisily clamboring over, and I voluteered my spine to hoist the other two. Before making the climb myself, look about 1 foot to the right and see this portal to the NS for me to walz through
From there we goofed and skipped past the start/finish, mugging for a few photos, cracking jokes, moving the last cones a bit to open up the chicane for the Beetle (they stayed like this till noon on Sunday
, noticing how the straight is more uphill than you think, noting where the bump is that causes RSs to lift their left front wheel, dispelling Matt's initial insistence that his turn-in point for T13 was a mark about 50 feet before the apex, speculating at length on James' crash, marvelling at the camber and sheer awesomeness of Bastard bend, and finally plopping our asses down on the curbing and telling stories. It was here that I decided to, one night next spring, walk the NS. Not drunken boastings either, good pair of shoes, clear night, Ringers as company or just the friendly ghosts of Ringers past, it shall be done.
From there it was a 2 minute walk to my pension, where I bid goodnight to my partners in crime.
Sunday:
Wake up at 6AM before the alarmclock like its Christmas morning to a very wet Nuerburg, breakfast, arrive NS parking lot at 8:15 for the 8:30 opening. Typical early birds were there, worryingly chomping at the bit while more and more rolled in, until the opening right around 9.
Got a pax lap in Alex's rented 520 driven by Matt. You know how they say that 10 minutes after a speach only 10% of the audience will remember more than 10% of what was said? With that in mind, Alex would be doing very well to remember 1 minute of the time Matt was talking
Good fun of course, tried to imagine what it will be like in next years Ring taxi with 3 times the power...
Did a mostly wet lap in the Beetle, ESP off, passing more people than being passed.
Had seen a red Vauxhall VXR prowling about, and recognizing the babe from the superb "SC Speedster vs VXT at the Ring" dvd bought from VX220forum Ben, introduced myself to him and Jo, friends of Ricky and very cool people. Ben had his VXR (#35 of 60) for just a few weeks, but had kept pace with Ricky's lightweight Speedster in his old Turbo, so I knew it was going to be a fun ride. No dissapointments, we're talking low 8 minute BTG. The VXR is just a hyper speedster, lighter, explosive power, otherworldly grip, at the same time better screwed together and more solid. I have to admire Ricky inventing and making his car happen, but would be nice to just buy a VXR and have equivalent pace, with a few more creature comforts. Eh, I'd take either..
Jumped in US Jon's rental 996, he had asked me to give him some NS pointers, but the most important thing for a Ring newbie is to stay out of trouble, and he did this well. Nice car that 996, going to go for a rental 997 next Easter myself.
Met young Adam, hands down winner of the "Life just isn't fair" award. He was there in his one-of-28 RUF CTR Yellowbird, which I hear he helped build at RUF, and lapping in his father's new RUF R Speciale.
Sir B was beside himself with tales of almost skewering a spun Kadett at Breidscheid, then him and a few other goons doing their best to make Jeremy Clarkson never come back to the NS without a disguise, or at least not on one of the busiest days of the year. Anyway, having passed JC TWICE in one lap, Karl was happier than a kid who just kicked Mickey Mouse in the balls at Disneyland.
Sun was out and extra Ringers were milling around, so the first of the Beetlemaniacs donned crash helmets and piled in, just as a biker lost it heavily at Galegenkopf and closed the track. Some more time tapping our feet, then wieder geoeffnet! Back in the boat people! Cranked up the radio and posed for the Top Gear camera crew that ran to film us at the gate.
Birgit, Matt, and Johannes did their best to entertain the spectators, pulling a map out of the glovebox as we screeched through AF and the rest of us generally hammed it up. We repeated our act with Ben (the best, he held the flapping map high, turned it upside down, back, then pointed emphatically to the right, while I shook my head and pointed straight
PG1 was always a gas, all of us popping out of our seats to get a moment of zero g flight.
None was more exciting though than with Jochen, Kees, and Juliette, after we passed the RS in FR (poor guy will be in therapy for years hehehe), and caught a brit S2000 at eiskurve. Backed off before the jump, but not enough. Forgot the Beetles brakes would certainly be less than stellar at this point, and didn't count on this moron slowing to, literally, a crawl (Jochen inisists is was no more than 50kph) before turning in. Bloke came VERY close to getting a Beetle enema... Kees insanely argued that the hairier moment came at Schwalbenschanz, when I took the high road to let a 996TT past, and came within 5 feet of dropping a wheel off. Pussy ; )
Saw the Top Gear jags behind us after the gantry, so practiced Beetle slaloms a bit and waved to Sabine and Jeremy. Dropped off the slightly sheel shocked but giddy passengers, and without stopping bugged out for home, 750km away. 7 more notches on the dashboard, without a doubt the slowest, but funniest yet. Thanks and cheers to everyone for helping to make it another tremendous trip. Set your VCRs for Top Gear's next Nordschleife Special
Kurt
..... now I understand those elise "Stelvio" runners that travel with all sort of links, arms and bearings in their bags... 
(Been up since 03:30 and my first beer has gone straight to my head!)
