8089 replies to this topic

[iceman]

Far from it Mr Icey 

Nice of you to say such Sir

Just..me and anything technical don't mix well really (quite surprised i'v managed to get my head around this darn putor)

Suppose we all have different skills (just need to discover where mine lie)

Nice to see/hear you're helping this person out though (well done that man) Perhaps (and i cetainly hope so) you'll get back from this that which you put-in (what goes around comes! around)..

..but if not, then i'd like to thank you on behalf of all us technically inept folk for trying

[easy]

p.s. I know IT isn't everyones strong point but i've now spent 4 hours explaining it, even using colour pics andSorry me again

Thick but shy people - I mean if you don't understand something, don't drawings and its NOT FCUKING HARD TO UNDERSTAND......ITS A FCUKING PROCESS I'M NOT ASKING YOU TO UNDERSTAND DATABASES AT ALL

Try explaining it in English

[B3N_VX]

What gets on my tits? Bloody petrol pumps that don't cut off until they've covered one side of the car in an extra £3 of petrol (Sainsbury in Harlow is a particular culprit )

[TurboTomato]

What gets on my tits?


Bloody petrol pumps that don't cut off until they've covered one side of the car in an extra £3 of petrol (Sainsbury in Harlow is a particular culprit )

That's an NA thing - never had overspill on my Turbos

[ECM]

People who wander into places where people are doing work, eat all the food and then sod off Good to see you on Saturday Paul and thanks for helping lift those flat pack things

[LazyDonkey]

p.s. I know IT isn't everyones strong point but i've now spent 4 hours explaining it, even using colour pics andSorry me again 

Thick but shy people - I mean if you don't understand something, don't  drawings and its NOT FCUKING HARD TO UNDERSTAND......ITS A FCUKING PROCESS I'M NOT ASKING YOU TO UNDERSTAND DATABASES AT ALL 

Try explaining it in English

Ah yes - and people that don't listen to what you tell them, hate them too..............GARY !

Icey, i am basically explaining things to this person (and this is no joke) like this;
- Save this here, with this name
- You click this button
- THis then produces this spreadsheet
- You then email this spreadsheet to x
- ....and then next week do the same again.

No technical skills needed

[streetboy]

Comic Sans - The 'I'm so wacky' font choice for dickheads and primary school teachers.

[streetboy]

Stuck pixels - Especially the one on my brand new iMac.

[Richy]

wasps

[Smiler]

Stuck pixels - Especially the one on my brand new iMac.

oh pisser mate.. i was worried when we got ours.. dont ya need something like 20 before they take it back ?

me powerbooks got about 50 now.. :-(



stupid sales people that clearly know bollox all about the stuff they are flogging..


(yes i'm stuck in with qvc on.. )

[Ash]

one of the headlights had blown. so i popped into my local garage and got a replacement. fitted it, which is another story entirely. tried it. the fcuking other one cnuting well fcuking went.

cnut p1ssflaps cnuting b0110cks.

edit: yes a bit of the head lamp insides did snap off, as they are made from cottage cheese

I take it you were a bit p*ssed off about that then mate!!

But you had a reasonable weekend up to that point?

Ash

[willow]

living in a ski resort and having no chance of getting back up on the slopes till next january at the earliest.......... oh and torn cruciate, medial and anterior ligaments get on my tits in general too

[LazyDonkey]

Big blue chip companies that couldn't give a monkies (sp?) about their staff, and change direction with the wind. AGAIN Please see previous posts

[JimH]

Paint colours. I don't buy gay ass painting your house paint very often but each time I do the names get more stupid. They fall into a number of categories.

1. The Homes and Gardens lot. Farrow and Ball are the worst offenders here. Entrance Hall Pink. This colour is based on the stain on the wall in the lobby of the servant's quarters at Blenhiem Palace where the fourth Earl of Buckingham accidentally ejaculated during a romantic encounter with a farrier. fcuk off. It's brown.

2. The New Parents. Most paint manufacturers have one of these ranges except Farrow and Ball who are probably too busy trying to get hold of "that dress" for it's new range of American paints. These paints are eye seeringly bright and look like they might be nice for the new play room. Top tip. They will not. Ever.

3. The Professional Couple. Look, just paint your fcuking walls magnolia. You are going to be working all hours God sends just to pay your council tax bill let alone the mortgage so you are never going to need to return to a tranquil haven where the walls are "oyster blush" and are complemented by the "sundew marrow" skirtings and "gentle massage" dado rails. The only time you'll ever look up at your "melon haven" ceiling is when you are lying flat on your back after your first heart attack. You live in a one bedroom flat in Putney. You are not going to recreate mediterranean excitement, latin fire or cuban faded glory so don't even try.

4. The Interior design wannabes. These "wacky" paints were popularised by those numb nuts at Benetton. Metallic paint? On your car maybe. Rag rolling? Fleck? Well, perhaps if you want your house to look like a public lavatory or the corridors in your child's primary school perhaps or even if your really want to recreate that fourth Earl of Buckingham incident in all its glory but otherwise just leave them on the shelf, eh? If ever there was a sure fire way of identifying a complete gareth then he is the one standing in the queue with a tin of flock paint in his hand.

5. The Wrecking Rooms range. You know the problem. You've just finished watching a home improvement programme and your brain has turned to mush. In this state you feel the need to turn your home into the same sort of shitpile that you have seen created on screen. You've got the MDF and the sheep's heads but what colours to choose? Well from every paint manufacturer ever (except Farrow and Ball who are too busy recreating the marks in Handy Andy's underpants for their "television handymen of the 20th century's skid marks" range due to be released in 2086) comes a range of paints which clash wildly, upset small children and cause any visitor to your house to p*ss themselves laughing on their way home in the car. Purple and green stripes? No problem. You just need "throbbing erection" and "clap clinic visit". Can't find the colour you wnat? Well, we'll mix one for you so you can be sure that it matches nothing in your dining room.

I'm trying to match the paints which the previous occupants of my house have used so I can tart it up and rent it out. It was starting to get to me.

[LazyDonkey]

It was starting to get to me.

Seriously ?

[Jase_MK]

Making sandwiches in the morning, then leaving them at home Done that about three times in the last couple of weeks now

[LazyDonkey]

Making sandwiches in the morning, then leaving them at home Done that about three times in the last couple of weeks now

oooohhhhh - i feel your pain - thats a horrible one.

Especially when they taunt you when you get home

Although what is worse is when your loved one makes them, you forget to take them and she calls you to ask "what the fcuk was wrong with them"