8089 replies to this topic

[Goosenka]

Sitting outside a job in my van doing some paperwork/browsing .org and a pretty plain looking prositute just asked me if I wanted business... 1. I am a premuim member, I thought that got rid of the sleazy adverts 2. Do I look that desperate? 3. I don't think she was VAT registered 4. If she had approached me earlier, would it have been acceptable to say yes, but only to get her to carry some equipment up 5 floors to save me doing two trips? 5. I am going to get a haircut tomorrow to try and make myself look less dodgy. (yes, less, tough task) 6. Ignoring points 2 and 5, maybe she was cherry picking a pleasant shift before she had to lower her standards (with the term standards used very lightly of course!)

 

Go for number 4.  Get the trollop to carry all your stuff upstairs under the guise that it turns you on.  Then show her your shaft - simples.

[Claws]

Haha, it was the east end of Glasgow, so pretty doesn't really feature there, at all Rob, I shall ask for a picture should the situation occur again That was my thinking Goose, everyone would be a winner and I fail to see how that wouldn't impress even her

[Goosenka]

Haha, it was the east end of Glasgow, so pretty doesn't really feature there, at all Rob, I shall ask for a picture should the situation occur again That was my thinking Goose, everyone would be a winner and I fail to see how that wouldn't impress even her

 

 

If she asked for money at the end, give her a gentle nudge and she would happily fall down your shaft.

[Zoobeef]

Won an auction on eBay for a new car but it didnt get over the reserve, poo

[Zoobeef]

Mate said he'd take me down today to get my new car. Said he would come this afternoon. Still sat on my sofa waking and he's not answering his phone. Brilliant.

[Boombang]

Still sat on my sofa waking

 

Typo?

[Zoobeef]

Waiting or wanking. Either one isn't collect my car.

[KurtVerbose]

Playing twister with a turtle head.

[turbobob]

You or someone else?

[KurtVerbose]

Both are bad.

[Claws]

Hiccups, had them for over 2 hours earlier. They have returned...

[Bargi]

Hiccups, had them for over 2 hours earlier.






They have returned...

 

There is a cure, what you need is a Massage !

[Boombang]

Sunburn when it's not sunny

[Sutol]

Oh you're so fuck1ng supermarket grrrrrrrr

[Boombang]

When selling a trailer I keep getting asked if XXX car will fit on it.

 

I clearly in the fcuking advert said suitable for a Saxo/106 and have put the fcuking measurements down for you.

 

How the shitting hell would I know how wide/long a Mk5 Fiesta or a Mk2 Escort is? 

 

 

Here is a clue cuntface, go and get your fcuking tape measure out.

[Boombang]

That's cheered me up though.  The forum doesn't filter cuntface

 

[KurtVerbose]

Just the word c**t and it changes it to doodah - funny, I thought doodah was a new way of verbal abuse the youth are using these days. But if you append or prepend anything on the beginning/end of c**t it stays the same. E.g.

 

cuntsmell

cuntlicker

cuntdepth

gapingcunt

 

Strangely if you write c**tingdon it changes it to lusciousdon.

 

Jeez, I am so going to get banned.

[Boombang]

It gets better, I fcuking hate selling things.

 

Got about £500-600 of wheels and tyres up for sale either as  job lot for £400 or individually priced.

 

Chap emails me, says due to tyres being mostly worn it's a lot of cost and hassle for him as he'll get one use and needs to swap them again.  Fair point, I've invited offers anyhow.

 

His response however says "...not cost effective unless you would consider lower price".

 

Am I suppose to be physic and know what this magical lower price is?  And yes of course I would consider a lower price, that's why I invited offers.

 

 

 

[Zoobeef]

I want to buy a fcuking envelope. How hard can it fcuking be??? I don't want a pack of fcuking 50.

[turbobob]

I've got one you can have. I'll post it to you. Oh wait .....