8094 replies to this topic

[ElizP987]

Anyway, think I've made my point, although had to go the long way around doing it. Most of you know my intentions in the first place and I am not the battleaxe I have probably made myself out to be.... Anyway, I'll shut up now I think......for the time-being anyway

[turboman]

Have I missed something? Could someone give me the short version of the argument, to save me reading 26 pages, yes, I really am that lazy.

[djegiant]

Liz, whats with that sig????

[iceman]

Maybe the mods should open a new SMUT-Enter at your own risk. catergory! 

Personally! that is something i would find very! helpful. Liz doesn't find this sort of thing offensive but i surely do!

[ElizP987]

Liz, whats with that sig????

dont ask, just some silly mod messing about.
Think I'll delete it actually......

[turboman]

So if I post something like this, is it offensive? A cat and a horse are walking through the forest. Suddenly the cat slips into a pit of quicksand. "Help me Ed!", says the cat, "Quick, run home, get the Ferrari, cruise back here tie a rope to the back and throw It in so you can pull me out." "No way.", exclaimed the horse, "There isn't enough time. I'll back up, get a running start, jump over the pit while my dick drags in the quicksand. You can grab it and I'll pull you out.""That'll never work!", said the cat. "Well dude, you're sinking fast, you don't have much of a choice." "OK, dude, go for it." The horse backed up and ran toward the pit. At the last second, he jumped and let his dick drag in the quicksand. As it passed the cat, the cat grabbed it and, miraculously, was pulled out of the quicksand. The moral of this story? If you're hung like a horse, you don't need a Ferrari to get a little pussy.

[easy]

Sitting in a bar by the beach with wifi access sipping a beer knowing I have to come home tomorrow

[easy]

Anyway, I'll shut up now

Thank Christ

[ElizP987]

Anyway, I'll shut up now

Thank Christ

Shut-it Sinbad

[LazyDonkey]

Job ads.

You know the ones that ask for this that and the next thing.

You tick every box

You apply

Mr recruitment consultant thinks you have a great chance

He mentally starts spending his bonus

You get through 2 screening stages and start eagerly awaiting the interview

Then they come back and say, "ah but you don't have skill X"

YOU DIDNT FCUKING SAY I NEEDED THAT SKILL

IF YOU HAD I WOULDNT HAVE WASTED YOU TIME

CWNTS

[GreenMachine]

Portaloos. People go to them in the dark and p*ss everywhere then you have to hover over the seat. Then you risk a burning splashback from the blue stuff. There is no pleasure in spending two hours in there with the Sunday Times. The bog roll has always been liberally splashed with wee. Other people's floaters cruise around like dreadnoughts below. They are too small to avoid touching anything. I really hate portaloos!

Edited by GreenMachine, 19 February 2006 - 08:08 AM.

[jules_s]

Richard Hammond He's a midget He talks over people He's not funny especially on Petrolheads on BBC2 Ditto on topgear and Brainiacs .....and lastly he seems to love his left side profile....perhaps its because he can only raise his left eyebrow

[Jase_MK]

My boss just opened his chocolate bar wrapper by searching around in his drawer for a pair of scissors, getting them out and snipping the top of the wrapper off For some reason that got right on my tits. I feel it may be one of those days

[casino]

Ken Livingston. Id like to fight him for his job. 8 rounds in a ring, winner takes all, ticket and TV money goes to Help a London Child. If he can shove people over walls he can box for his job.

[JimH]

The local shop. This story here has pissed me off. This sort of crap is one of the reasons we need to take a red pen through about 85% of Whitehall's budget. We're going to investigate the supermarkets for dominating the market. We fear that consumers may be harmed. I know what these bastards are doing is terrible. They stock almost everything you need and sell it in good condition 12 months of the year. What scumbags! How dare they! This must be stopped. Let's p*ss a few hundred thousand pounds up the wall to show that people quite like being able to buy lots of stuff in the same place.

Apparently the local convenience store is a social glue according to an All Party Group. Possibly because they are the places where the kids buy theirs from. Who in the name of bunnies is going to go shopping for anything other than a packet of Hob Nobs and some Rizlas at a local convenience store? We're just tripping over ourselves to get the overpriced bread and out of date bacon. Such a treat to go there and enjoy their distinctive smell.

We're not talking about specialist shops. The delicatessens who are interested in what they sell and stock high quality produce. No, we’re talking about the sort of shop that gets by on flogging booze, fags and porn to the underaged and selling Panda Pops limeade.

The quicker they are gone the better.

[Code Monkey]

when you in a shop and you have change consisting of coins and notes, you are holding your wallet in one hand and the teller decides to put the notes in your free hand and then pour all the coins on top so that you are unable to do anything with both hands full and a load of shopping to pick. I find it most theraputic to dump all the coins on the till in front of them and then slowly count it all back into my wallet.

[christurbo]

Multistory Car parks - they are too narrow with HUGE kerbs Online Insurance companies - you spend ages filling in the forms and when you click confirm it comes up with 'sorry your application has an error please call the call centre for your quote' - The British Weather - What the fcuk is happening??? Snow, Sun, Snow + sun, rain, sun, rain, rain, rain, monsoon, ice, rain, snow, ice, rain, rain,

[Foxy]

Richard Hammond

.....and lastly he seems to love his left side profile....perhaps its because he can only raise his left eyebrow

Me thinks you've been watching too closely

[Foxy]

Arrrgh!!!! Americanized spelling!!!! It's bad enough when the septics do it...