8089 replies to this topic

[slindborg]

Scales that tell you that you weigh more after having a dump?!?! And on the subject of shits, shits that take fcuking ages wipe off your ass. You have to wipe so much that your arse is a throbbing ring of fire And when you think you've had one of those shits you pull off loads of paper in prep to find that it's a completely dry wipe and you've just wasted loads of bog roll.

  That's why you didn't weigh less after a dump - it's still clinging to your ar$e.

I must have used second hand bog roll and wiped some sh*t onto my ass. I weighed 1lb more afterwards

That was all the muscle you built up from pushing....

[turbobob]

I have a sphincter like popeyes grip

[KurtVerbose]

Ok - I'm grossed out now.

[rob999]

So Bob has whinnets; that's hardly news is it

[Sutol]

Bob, don't eat your dinner while you're having a crap!

[turbobob]

So Bob has whinnets; that's hardly news is it

Thanks for getting me to test the internet usage rules Well at least I've learned something new.

 

Actually I thought I had dags .....

[willow]

That this thread is still going almost 11 years after it was started.......... actually no, its brilliant...... 

[Nev]

How foooking cold it is in this country. It's only 8 weeks till summer solstice and it's only 8 degrees centigrade all day!

[KurtVerbose]

Here on Monday there was snow on the ground and it was 1.5°C.

 

Lucky I hadn't switched to summer tyres.

[Nev]

Here on Monday there was snow on the ground and it was 1.5°C.

 

Lucky I hadn't switched to summer tyres.

 

What village do you live in again Kurt ?

[KurtVerbose]

Merlischachen, near Luzern.

[rob999]

It's been said before but when describing a car: 'Fully loaded' Makes me think of Brewer from WD : fcuk off. 'Bullet proof engine' : no engine is bullet proof, there will be failures out there and I'll happily machine gun the fcuk out of your crappy 4/6/8 pot motor to prove it has the defensive capabilities of a mouldy cheesestring. Lastly that Virgin Broadband advert : I would be royally pissed if my friend showed up and said 'Yes I'll DJ for you', plays 20 seconds and then decided actually, I've got to go. Oh and the girl in it is a skank.

[Harry Hornet]

That this thread is still going almost 11 years after it was started.......... actually no, its brilliant...... 

 

..that your website doesnt give details of ski/snow board holidays available.. ... 

[PaulCP]

Self service check out tills Meant to be quicker, bollocks, even when they actually work they take 5x longer In WHS today buying 1 magazine, after scanning I have to answer 3 more questions 1. Do you want to take advantage of offer 1 2. Do you want to take advantage of offer 2 3 do you want to pay 5p for a bag No, all I want to do is pay and get out of here as quick as possible. I thought your function was to speed up me checkout process not ask me to fill in a questionnaire😠 Then, after finally being able to select "pay" I get "please call and assistant" Fcuk off, I left the mag there and went to the independent newsagent on the way home. What a simple process, pick up a mag, take to counter, pay and exit within 2 minutes. Why didn't WHS think of that😉

Edited by PaulCP, 27 April 2016 - 07:49 PM.

[The Batman]

i wish PaulCP told me he was bringing his daughter when picking up some bits from me..

 

i would have got my haircut, put on some nice clothes, trained the hound to play a violin..

[PaulCP]

i wish PaulCP told me he was bringing his daughter when picking up some bits from me..   i would have got my haircut, put on some nice clothes, trained the hound to play a violin..

Lol, I remember her comment when she got back in the car "Who was the scraggy scrote you was talking to with Vocky" 😄😄😄 BTW Joe, those bits were a transformation in the garage👍👍

Edited by PaulCP, 27 April 2016 - 08:02 PM.

[rob999]

Not the first time joe's been called a scraggy scrote...

[Zoobeef]

Tonsillitis, can't eat or drink. 2 of my favourite things to do.

[The Batman]

such lies!!!!!

 

but.. ive been called worse

[Zoobeef]

Probably by Ella when she finds out people are swapping daughters for parts 😂