104 replies to this topic

[K1_MBR]

number plate houdini - when you drive over slightly uneven terrain and get out to find the front number plate has disappeared. Happened last night doing a three point turn in clumber park.

[Tony_M]

number plate houdini - when you drive over slightly uneven terrain and get out to find the front number plate has disappeared. Happened last night doing a three point turn in clumber park.

Shrunk in the Wash - Trying to tell the boy's in blue that your number plate isn't 3/4 size it's standard.

[fluffy]

Come on people - we need to add more to this thread! (or have me and Tony M killed it?)

[Mick1727]

Part number tourettes - The sudden realisation that a new part will take months to arrive. The Chelsea pensioner - The ungainly walk after a Trans-European drive. The Limahl - The state of your hair after a spirited blast if you are over 6ft tall.

[fluffy]

Speedline Envy - the look a non speedlined vx owner gives to a vx that has a set of speedlines fitted. Negative Inability - The inability to say "No" to any modifications on offer from any of the VX specialists around the UK. and thats it - I'm spent! Can we collect these together and put them in the wiki?

[Gouldy]

Forum Induced Paranoia - The feeling that just because everyone elses <insert name of VX part here> has broken yours must be on its way out too.

[Tony_M]

Colouritis* - The firm belief that the colour of your VX is better than all the rest. *This condition does not apply to Silver owners because we know we have the best colour

[fluffy]

Molar Wheel - that first big stopping moment after upgrading the brakes that invariably leaves teeth marks in the steering wheel bumpy volume - the difficulty of trying to get exactly the right volume setting on the stereo whilst driving along a bumpy road. VX ear - that moment when getting in a vx that you somehow slip and the door closes on the side of your head. No I still don't know how I did it either...

[tucker]

The Hokey Cokey - the schoolboy error of stepping off the kerb to get in when there isn't enough room to twist your foot. Forum Followthrough - Naturally progressing from Forum Induced Paranoia when within 1-3 days of reading about a fault you check and notice it or it suddenly occurs

[crr003]

Bootlid Head – the flatspot on the top of your head got from using it as a boot lid prop instead of the metal pole supplied.

Spot on!

"Muscle Mark" - the 10p size bruise on the right bicep caused by pivoting the body out on the door lock bar.

[robD]

Rev limiter: ......................wife

[RWinstanley]

Door Pin Pocket - Ripping the back pocket off your trousers on the door pins when getting out in a tight space. Pound Coin Shock - Similar to Pot Hole Shock, when a pound coin fall out of your pocket and sounds like the cars just been hit by a larger brick.

[mal_dun]

Headbanging - what the wife or GF does on the headrest when a VX accelerates without warning Earful whinging - occurs after headbanging when wife/ GF 'tells' you about your acceleration Ginster - Colloqial name for a VX (newbies won't understand this one) Wiper rash - the effect on the windscreen after using the washers FBI - flying by instruments - the method of following a vehicle when there is spray about Hub capping - the normal view when at the side of most vehicles Boot badging - similar to hub capping but when at the rear of a vehicle

[Tony_M]

Ginster - Colloqial name for a VX (newbies won't understand this one)

Wasn't Ginster the Lizzie colloquial ???

"Muscle Mark" - the 10p size bruise on the right bicep caused by pivoting the body out on the door lock bar.

Nice one rubs bicep done that more than once when getting out in a hurry

[CupidKnewRap]

Ginster - Colloqial name for a VX (newbies won't understand this one)

Wasn't Ginster the Lizzie colloquial ???

pastie post

[Tony_M]

Ginster - Colloqial name for a VX (newbies won't understand this one)

Wasn't Ginster the Lizzie colloquial ???

pastie post

Cheers Cupid

Ginsters - Lizzie Colloqual
Greggs - VX Colloqual

P.S. I drove by the Ginsters factory in Cornwall last weekend, and they had a fine selection on display in the shop, including sereval new models hot off the production line.

I was tempted to pop in a take on for a test drive, but had just finished a cream tea (burp)

[Ferguson]

Hunchback Ventilation: Awkward posture adopted on sweltering July days, resembling an ape hanging from the steering wheel, in an attempt to get your sweaty back away from the seat and simultaneously create a small breeze from sleeve to sleeve. Panel Poke (also known as Fascia Fumble): The involuntary action, usually performed several times per drive, to try to reattach the silver dash panel which has come away from its double-sided tape. Never works. Bunker Vision: Slit-like viewing aperture which results from either a total lack of demisting on cool days, or uneven wiper blade pressure on muddy days. Environmental Exfoliation: The gradual and complete removal of the outer layer of your face by grit blasted out the vents and circulated by mysterious mini-cyclones in the cockpit. Lotus Envy: Momentary hesitation every time our forum's resident Exige owners (and digital photographers) post their latest über-pictures.

[bAAx]

public parking paranoia (or 3P1): worrying condition in most (technically speaking grown-up) VX owners: the fear/concern for the fate of the beloved VX when parked in any public space. Needless to say that when travelling and staying overnight (especially with a VX that is "Invisible From the Hotel Window"), the condition can induce severe sleeplessness, gnawing of cushions, stomach cramps and relational stress. 3P2 (see below) can, for a very limited duration, relieve some of the pressure 3P1 induces, but only "the Driving of the VX" or storing said VX safely at home will completely remove it. CAUTION! 3P1 is not simultaniously stackable with any other of the aforementioned afflictions such as "chassis panic" or "pothole shock" or worse if mental integrity in the owner is to be somewhat maintained! -is related to "dealer paranoia" pathological parking photography (3P2): VX users suffering from 3P1 can find some rest in photographing all other cars in the VX's vicinity on the public parking space so that swift retribution can be forced from any defiler of the shrine that is the VX's integrity. This is done in a with a conviction beyond religion: at least 3 photographs per such vehicles need to be taken ritually while gobsmacked and unbelieving (non-VX) onlookers are barked at fiercely by the VX owner who is, mostly, frothing at the mouth by the prospect of another impending fit of 3P1. DW1, together with the pastiepost one of those "will survive doomsday and then some "-posts (y) excellent!

Edited by bAAx, 11 July 2006 - 02:39 PM.

[p4cks]

banana board - yes, your dash is bowed at the edges.

whup - the phrase when slightly damp, the back end is feeling a little lighter than normal round that bend

nuckle bone- see also replacing VX battery

effuntee - yes your seat is worn on the drivers side.

when visiting your VX dealer... 'yeah I know' - 'They all do that Sir'

shoebox - see also boot

[SAPD]

Sorry, but this is really more of a dictionary... Funniest thing I've read for a while though!